Morgan Brown, M.S.
Have you ever felt lonely? Maybe you recently moved to a new city, state, or country and you don’t know anyone. Maybe you know plenty of people, but you can’t seem to connect on a deep enough level. Or maybe, just maybe, you have many deep relationships, but still feel lonely. You can stand in the middle of a crowded room and feel completely alone. In these situations, what can you do?
The first step, and the most important step, is to continue taking care of yourself. A lot of times, when we get in a funk and start feeling down, we don’t take care of ourselves the way we should. Make sure that you are still keeping your body and face clean and your teeth and hair brushed. Make sure you are eating regularly (3 meals a day with a snack if needed) and sleeping well for 8 hours. Some days, you may even want to put a little more effort in to make yourself feel even better. Put your favorite cologne on or your favorite earrings in, even if you're just hanging out around the house. When we feel like we’re looking good, we feel more confident!
After this, the next step is putting yourself around people. Get out of the house to do something that you enjoy like reading at a coffee shop, browsing the comics at the local comic bookstore, walking through a park, or hoping for a good find at the thrift shop. Join a class like a workout class at the gym, a crocheting class at the library, or a sports class at the community center. When we go to the same place at the same time on the same days, we usually end up seeing the some of the same people. If you notice that you’re seeing some familiar faces, say “hey!” You don’t have to have a deep heart-to-heart with anyone; just challenge yourself to share some pleasantries with someone new. When we allow ourselves to make connections, even small ones, we are allowing ourselves to feel less alone. In fact, oxytocin, the love hormone, is released in our bodies when we give someone a compliment, do something nice for someone, or make those little connections with others. Additionally, dopamine, the reward chemical, is released when we achieve goals and take care of ourselves. We feel good when these “happy chemicals” are flowing, so by setting these goals, achieving these tasks, and making these connections, we are not only building relationships, but we are making ourselves feel great in the process!
Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help. This could be seeking therapy from a professional or asking your best friend for a night in to just watch the game or have a spa night. You don’t have to tell everyone everything you’re going through to ask for some help. You can just ask for some company for lunch to feel supported, loved, and less lonely. Don’t think that this feeling is forever. There are options for you to feel connections with others and you can handle the challenge!
If you could use help fighting loneliness, reach out! We are accepting new patients.